Some of My More Petty Reasons to Lose

I have a big post planned outlining my more inspirational and noble reasons to lose weight but there are a few that aren’t so noble. Here they are in no particular order:

1. I used to have this “friend” who was nearly as big as I was. She was maybe a size smaller. She delighted in pointing out when I was looking fatter than usual. She used to give me all sorts of advice on how I could lose weight and get down to her size. Thanks but no thanks, sweetheart. You’re just as much of a fatty as I am. She annoyed me and I happen to know she is still fat. I’d kind of like to get thinner and then rub her face in it.

2. My ex boyfriend for obvious petty reasons.

3. My aunt — who has always been one of the fattest people I know (as well as an annoying, busy-body, know-it-all Jesus-freak) — has recently lost a ton of weight. I don’t want to be bigger than she is because I know she’ll find a way to needle me about it. Sorry, Auntie.

4. I just want to feel pretty and smug for a little while.

There. Got that out of my system. I’m not proud of it but I’ll take my motivation where I can get it

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